Friday, 1 June 2012

simon amstell - numb

photo from

on wednesday (30/05/2012) i went to see simon amstell do live stand-up at leeds city varieties. nobody i know is a big a fan of his as i am (or as in love with him as i am) so i got one ticket and sat by myself in the stalls, as ya do.

so, he was hilarious. like, really funny. i was worried that it might be kind of awkward because i wouldn't find it funny, especially because he does that cute vulnerable kinda comedy, but it was fine. there was a really good atmosphere in there and it was really casual and everything he said was funny enough.

it was kind of weird though. i'd never been to a comedy gig before, let alone one by myself. i sort of wanted to lie down and sleep throughout the whole thing. probably because i'm conditioned to be in bed or in an armchair when i watch comedy, or maybe because it was so hot in the theatre, or because the chairs were so uncomfortable, or because i love the way his voice sounds and it was soothing, or something. i kept zoning out and thinking about stuff like how hot simon is and then i'd miss a joke or the start of a story. it was sort of like i was watching a 2D screen, like it didn't really feel like i was in the room with him for most of it. i could have easily just been watching it on tv, even though he did do audience banter and stuff.

looking back now, the audience interaction was the best bit, because that's the personal experience you get when you go see comedy. the jokes will be on the dvd but the chat will only ever be in the theatre. there was this person on the front row who kept coughing and it became like a running joke for simon to be like, "oh coughing again, really?!" and it was hilarious. one woman was fanning herself with a programme because it was so DAMN HOT in there and he was like, "sorry i'm distracted by what you're doing, are you fanning yourself? i mean, we had coughing, and now this?!" i was glad that it was such a tiny theatre because it was so lovely and intimate. at one point at the start of the gig he knocked his bottle of water off of a stool and he just stood there and went "oh... fuck!" and it was so funny, it was like we were all good friends where you're not embarrassed when you make a tit of yourself in front of people. he's so awkward and cute.

looking back, i find the stuff he said funnier now than i did then. maybe because there was the pressure of doing that awkward 'laughing louder than everyone else and getting picked on' thing or because laughter is social and i was there by myself or something. there was a bit where he mentioned slightly fancying justin bieber and saying he'd meet him like a normal person, and then he went, "but a part of me wants to fuck him 'til he cries," and i laughed so hard i nearly fell off my seat but i find it so much funnier now. i'm glad i was there though. if i described it to someone they wouldn't get it, it was definitely a 'you had to be there' moment. that kind of joke also makes me really happy that i'd gone by myself. my sister had wanted to go with me but we would have both been sat there going, "well, oh, i see, uh, awkward."

it was weird though, because it was so intimate in there, i just wanted to chat to him but comedy is definitely a one-sided conversation. if you went to a gig, you could just be like "I LOVE YOUUUU" and try to climb on stage and grab their crotch or whatever, but i was just sat there feeling a bit like i was missing something. i wanted to meet him afterwards so i could properly talk to him and i almost did. i was waiting for my dad, and there was this girl there in creepers with her mum and they were definitely just waiting for simon, and we were stood near the stage door and i was like I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO MEET HIM OH MY GOD but my dad showed up too early and i had to leave. oh, and another thing that was weird: like a gig, i was fucking exhausted afterwards. i ached all over and my ears were ringing and i woke up the next morning with some kind of weird hangover when i'd been 100% sober, even though i had just sat listening to someone talk for an hour and ten minutes. so strange.

overall, i loved it. he was hilarious even though it was such a strange experience. i've been in love with him since i was about 12 so i suppose seeing him perform was just something i had to do, and i don't regret it at all. the experience was mostly what you can get in your living room via dvd, and i wouldn't recommend spending anything over £40 for a ticket to see comedy (i paid £20 to see simon, which i think is fair considering it was his second tour), but if you love them then you should take the risk of paying too much and not enjoying it. i would rather go see a musical or a band but i did love seeing him. i just need to go see eddie izzard now and then i will have seen all the comedians that i've been in love with for as long as i can remember.


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