heroes

on wednesday, i was having a shit day. i'd just left exciting london to come home to boring leeds, i was looking at the mountain of revision i had ahead of me, i had just been rejected for a job after an interview that went really well, and i was just having a bad day. lots of times, on bad days, i just write big rants with bad grammar on tumblr, but now some very nice people have started reading those and are concerned about me, and i don't want to worry them. so instead, i opened a new email, and wrote down everything i was feeling, and directed it towards brian may.
brian may has a kind of blog on his website, his 'soapbox', and as part of that, he can accept emails from fans. i had sent a few emails before and hadn't gotten replies of any kind (some people i know occasionally get replies from the guys who run his website), so i just put everything, all of my heart, into that email, expecting that it'd never be read. it was very nice to get it out of my system without having to worry that someone i know might read it.
on thursday morning, i woke up to possibly the best surprise i've ever had. i had an email, from brian's soapbox, and not only that, but it was signed, 'Love, Bri'. the picture of that adorable furry thing up there^ shows my reaction pretty accurately, haha!
it's all so crazy. i can't believe such an important, famous person, someone who i admire and love so much, would take the time to even read something i wrote for them, let alone reply! he didn't just reply with generic words either; he wrote such inspiring, encouraging things, just for me. he said that he understood what i felt, that he was very much like me when he was 18. he told me a story of his teenage years that i don't think anyone knows, and oh god, it feels so wonderful to know that he wanted to share that with me.
i'm so amazed that this happened. i wonder if he knows how much of a difference he's made to my life? he changed my life, and the lives of many others, forever when he worked with queen, but now i have his words, specifically for me, i can't even believe it. i'm so thankful for this, i love him more than ever.
i won't post the whole email, as it's very personal to me, and also i don't know whether brian would want it published, so i wont. sorry to anyone who actually wants to read what he wrote. if you're feeling as shit as i was that day, i highly recommend writing to brian. not only does it feel great to have that weight off your shoulders, you may end up with a return letter from one of britain's most famous and celebrated musicians. wow, that sounds so crazy! ahhh! i still can't believe he wrote back!
anyway, i'm going to stop rambling. i hope these personal posts aren't too boring for you guys, but i just had to share this. sorry, not sorry. thank you for reading! xx

queen at sonisphere

both images found on google and are not my own.

as you probably already know, i'm a massive queen fan. they literally rule my whole life. so of course, i was fucking excited when i heard that they (along with adam lambert) were headlining sonisphere. however, i was excited, but at the same time i was suddenly so bloody depressed.

the first reason for this is that i can't go to sonisphere. there are three reasons why. one is that day tickets for sonisphere are £82 and i just can't afford it. another reason is that none of my friends like queen enough to go with me and also spend £82, and i definitely couldn't pay someone to come with me like i did for wwry. the last reason is that sonisphere takes place at the other side of the bloody country. sonisphere is held somewhere near london, and i live in leeds. travel would be excruciatingly expensive and, since i'd want to stay to the very last second of queen's set, i wouldn't be able to get back that night and would have to stay in a hostel somewhere. all of that would add up for over £100 for travel / accommodation and it's way too much.

another reason is that i miss freddie. whilst still being hopeful that i might scrape up the £82 to go with my parents (before i figured out all the other costs), i put 'queen rock montreal' on through my headphones and imagined that i was there, in a crowd full of people, suddenly hearing "mama... just killed a man...", the crowd roaring and oh, it was the best feeling ever. it took me a while, however, to realise that even in my imagination, it was freddie commanding the stage, and i realised that if i did go to sonisphere, it would be both the best and worst day, because it would be queen, but it wouldn't be freddie. i had been so excited, and all of a sudden my world shook like the first time i heard about his death and i  just needed him back.

of course i'd die to see the half of queen that is still going live. i've pretty much started praying that the success of this festival gig sparks up a tour and they come somewhere closer to me so i can see them, and although it would be amazing, i know that i'd probably cry the whole way through. either because i was happy at seeing roger and brian, or because i was sad that freddie wasn't there, or both.

the last reason why this gig has been occupying my head for so long (well, a week) is that i feel like it's a race. this gig has sentimental value to roger and brian, as it's the place where freddie played his last show with queen, and i'm slightly terrified that maybe they're ending on a high-note? let's be honest here, roger and brian are in their sixties and it must be tough to drag yourself through an hour-or-longer set. i'm sceptical of how many shows they still have left in them. since the place of this gig means so much to them, i'm worried that maybe they'll play here and then leave it. so when i heard about this gig, i was sort of... in a rush to get tickets. i need to see them live before something bad happens and i'm terrified that i might miss the chance to see them one time and it turns out to be the last time. what would i do then? cry for whole weeks because i let them go like i let freddie go? beat myself up over not throwing enough tantrums to my parents until they agreed to pay for my ticket? i wouldn't be able to handle it. i'm just scared.

i'm sorry that this post has been kind of a downer. i needed to get these thoughts out of my head so i can get on with my life and forget about this stupid festival. i know that there's a line between what you write in a blog and what you don't, but i feel like my blog has always been a kind of 'anything goes' thing and i wanted to share this with you. hm. my friend holly is going to sonisphere so maybe she could ring me during queen's set? it's the best i can hope for. x

2011

the year is drawing to a close and i took a bit of time to reflect on what's happened this year. it's been a pretty eventful year for me, and probably loads of other's.

personal highlights:

photo from google images

queen

hard to believe that this time last year, i barely even knew who freddie mercury was. i only really got into queen around exam season, in july. queen had been following me around for a while, actually, because they're such a huge deal that they're generally always in the background, even if that means sofa adverts and bad karaoke, but i remember the exact day that i got into queen. i'd had an re exam that morning, and me and katie had gone to mcdonalds for lunch and then i had gone home. ryan dunn had recently died and that hit me quite hard that day. i'd been listening to 'under pressure' (it's been on my ipod since i heard my chemical romance had covered it when i was about twelve) and just randomly decided to visit freddie's wikipedia page. i read how he died and my whole world rocked. i sat on my floor and cried for the longest time i've ever cried. 'queen: the days of our lives' was on our sky planner and i went to watch it. it blew me away. i cried so much that week over freddie but i'd found something amazing. now i can't think of a world without these guys.

since 2011 marked the fortieth anniversary of queen, it's been a good year for queen fans. they were all over the place and brian and roger accepted loads of awards and appeared on several tv shows, including glimpses of brian may in the audience at strictly come dancing because his lovely wife anita dobson was dancing. we just couldn't get enough of them this year.

photo from google images

exams / gcses

those of you who sat your gcse exams this year, this one's for you. 2011 marked the end of my compulsary education.

this isn't really a highlight as i was so stressed and it was horrible, but it took up a good, maybe, quarter of the year, so i have to include it.

exams are always really stressful for me, even mocks or practise papers, because the setting of an exam (extreme silence, not being allowed to leave, the whole year in one room ready to judge you if they need to) makes me panic. i had a full-blown panic attack during one of my two-hour english exams and it was awful. i thought i'd fail because i couldn't finish the exam but somehow i got a B, which is amazing compared to the C i got in my mock exam when i was perfectly calm.

i managed to pull some good grades out of those months, but i know now that the stress i felt then is going to be nothing compared the stress of alevel exam season. something to look forward to, eh? ha.

my super sweet sixteen

this picture wasn't really taken on my sixteenth birthday. i took this when i was trying on prom dresses, but i needed a picture and i thought this would do.

my sixteenth was amazing, way better than anything mtv could throw together. i didn't get a car, i didn't have a party, i didn't even have a cake, but it was perfect.

tenth of january 2011. i had chocolate covered strawberries for breakfast and got some money and some laffy taffy from my parents, and then i went to school. we had maths exams coming up so we had to do a two-hour maths revision lesson. i was working with bradley and keiran and we had to answer lots of maths questions. they did all the work for me and we won a bag of mars planets each because our group got the most questions right. free chocolate!

then i had break and my lovely, lovely friends gave me some presents, including a cath kidston bag, lush goodies, glee nail polishes and keyrings and posters, and cute socks. sophie and liam had somehow managed to track down a speaking busted birthday card in a charity shop for me. then i finished school as normal and nobody sang happy birthday and made me feel awkward.

after school, me and my mum went to white rose and i bought the high-waisted topshop jeans that i'd been lusting after for months. when i got home, i had takeaway pizza for tea (my favourite, that nobody else in my family likes), watched the scott pilgrim vs. the world dvd that lauren had lent me, and then watched the first episode of the new season of glee.

it was just perfect.

photo from google images - all my photos from the weekend are on paper as i only took disposable cameras so they're not on my computer

bingley live music festival

this year i went to my first festival, and that also meant going camping for the first time. i'd always avoided going camping when i was a girl guide because i'm a fussy eater and i was scared that i'd have to eat things i didn't like, but i bit the bullet and decided to go.

the tickets were only around £30 so i thought this'd be a good way to test whether or not i was a festival kind of girl before buying a £200 leeds fest ticket. turns out, i'm not the biggest fan of camping. after falling out with one of the girls because i had a bit of a diva fit when there was a huge daddy long legs in our side of the tent, the weekend went a bit shit. i don't like being at one with the bugs but other than that, i had a really good weekend and i loved the festival side of things. plus, it makes you really appreciate how comfy car seats are compared to sitting on your friends rain poncho on the hard floor for three days.

my friends

me and liam at sophie's sixteenth, me and liam and katie at sophie's sixteenth, ellie mae and leanne and katie and megan and me (crazy hair oh my god) and sophie on the last day of year eleven, megan and ellie mae and katie and sophie and me and leanne before prom, sophie and ellie and me at prom, me and megan at alton towers, me and lauren at we will rock you.

this isn't really a higlihght, more of a series of good times. i love my friends to death and they made this year, and last year, pretty amazing. it's a shame that i don't see them as much now because we're all scattered at different colleges and sixth forms, but it was lovely when they were there every day. they made everything interesting. if i'd have gone to alton towers with my family, i'd have had a shit time. but i spent most of the day with megan and it was bloody amazing (the 'CHOO CHOO!' lady on the runaway mind train ride, oh good lord, hilarious).

other highlights:

film highlights of 2011:

the inbetweeners movie: this film is hilarious. it really is. i don't think i can say much more about it, really. i went to see this with my friends in the summer holidays and we were rolling around in the aisles laughing. if you haven't seen it, you should definitely buy the dvd. (just as a warning: it would probably be a bit awkward to watch with your parents. it may only be a 15 but there's a lot of sex scenes and genitals on display).

bridesmaids: again, i went to see this with my friends in the summer holidays, and, again, it is hilarious. when i saw the advert, i didn't really think it'd be good, but i bloody love it. me and my friends quote it all the time; "are you an appliance?" definitely worth a watch.

lost christmas: i actually only watched this a few hours ago, and already it's in my top films of the year. it stars eddie izzard (who i'm madly in love with) and is a cute christmas tale about doing good and being given a second chance. it's quite confusing at first but it all comes together in the end and has a really lovely feel-good finish, although there are some sad bits along the way. i hope this comes out on dvd because i want to be able to watch it every christmas.

final destination 5: now, i haven't seen this film yet. i didn't get a chance to go to the cinema to see it so i'm waiting for it to come onto sky movies. it's in the list because all final destination films are the same. they all have the same plot, and if i love all the others, then i'm bound to love this one.

mercury: this film hasn't come out yet, but i'm including it in this list, as i've been looking forward to it all year. filming has only just begun, i believe, but if you're a queen fan then you need to mark it in your diaries. this is a biopic about the life of freddie mercury and it will start with the success of bohemian rhapsody (i think - either that or his beginnings in zanzibar) and will cover everything all the way up to the world-famous wembley gig in the eighties. sacha baron cohen has been cast to play freddie (an excellent choice, i think) and i cannot wait for it to come out.

musical highlights of 2011:

lady gaga - born this way: i'm not the biggest lady gaga fan in the world, but her music is a guilty pleasure of mine. i think this album is really good, and was definitely worth £10. you know an album's good when i actually buy the cd, because usually i'll just download it.

ed sheeran - +: i haven't had a chance to listen to this album yet as our copy belongs to my sister and she hasn't put it down since she got it, but the things i've heard are amazing. although i think he's overrated, there's no denying that 'the a team' and 'lego house' are perfect songs.

lmfao - party rock anthem: another guilty pleasure. this was the soundtrack to my summer and i love it.

foster the people - pumped up kicks: i've only just downloaded this song, and i actually think it's been around since 2008 (i might be wrong), so it's not really a new release, but i've heard it around everywhere. it's been on loads of tv shows and it's been constantly on the radio.

maroon 5 feat. christina aguileria - moves like jagger: this song has been following me around since it came out and i bloody love it. maybe a little overplayed but i'm not complaining.

the re-issues of queen's entire discography: not that i have the money to go out and buy fifteen brand-new cd's, but it's quite nice to listen to queen in the best quality possible. plus, it meant that queen were in the album charts again and getting a lot more radio-time, and you can never have too much queen.

my favourite blogs of 2011:

zoe / schoee: ah, i love zoe! her posts are always professional and lovely to read, and her personality comes through everything she writes.

jessica / little henry lee: jessica's blog is full of stunning photographs from a variety of amazing cameras. they're mostly of cute events she's been to or amazing things she's purchased and her pictures are so inspiring.

zoe / romeo and the lonely girl: zoe's a music blogger and always knows about the best new music before anyone else, so she's a must-follow for people who like unsigned bands.

amie / heartbeats, intimidation: amie is a gorgeous australian blogger and i love her. she makes her own clothes (which are so good!) and has a really unique taste in music, and she's just so different from other bloggers.

ella / partytights: ella posts tonnes of stunning, inspiring cute images on her tumblr and is one of the most popular blogs around. she's so lovely and humble and down-to-earth.

abby / don'tbeblah: one of the best artists i've ever seen. she's not the most regular poster but it doesn't bother me, because she's always worth the wait, and her sketches are extraordinary.

my favourite youtubers of 2011:

rhiannon / fashionrocksmysocks: i recently only found rhiannon on youtube but she's already one of my favourites. she's so lovely and gorgeous and her style is amazing. her ootd's are always perfect and she does some really good diy's too.

zoe / zoella280390: featured in both my bloggers and youtubers of 2011, her videos are mostly hauls or vlogs but i still love every video she's ever done. they're always hilarious (with cameo's from her brother joe and her friend louise) and you should all subscribe to her.

barbara / thepersianbabe: barbara is so lovely! she's so interesting and not really like everyone else on youtube. her style is so unique and fresh and her voice is so nice, i just love listening to her talk.

bethany / macbarbie07: bethany is just so cute! she spends so much time on her videos and they're always so professional and she really gives a lot to her followers. she does tonnes of diys (including cooking videos which i love!) and ootd's and she makes really useful videos, too. her latest one is 'five ways to style your lbd for new year', which will definitely come in handy.

jess / jingleheartart: jess is amazing! she has the most insane, beautiful hair and she's so funny. her personality is insane and lovely and she's a really talented singer too. her videos are so hilarious and i love every single one of them.

2011 has been a really good year for me and i hope 2012 is even better, and i wish you all the best for the new year as well. happy new years eve evertibe :-) x

freddie mercury nails

for the 20th anniversary of freddie's death, i painted my nails like this. when most people think of 'freddie mercury nails', they probably think of nails with pictures of freddie on them (like katy perry's russell brand nails) or nails that say 'freddie mercury'. these are more based on the nail polishes that freddie actually used himself. (sorry for the bad photo- i was running late, which is why some of the pink nails are a bit smudged as well).

during queen's glam rock phase in the 70's, freddie was big on straight hair, black eyeliner and black nail polish as part of his stage outfits (my favourite of that era being his white batwing outfit). he could only paint his left-hand nails though, which is why my left-hand nails were painted black.

freddie also wore bright pink nail polish to match his earrings, lipstick and jumper (?) in the 'i want to break free' video.

both images of freddie were found on google images and are not my own.

24th of november, 2011

hello! so as you know, yesterday i went to see we will rock you, at the grand theatre in leeds. it was the 20th anniversary of freddie mercury's death and i wanted to celebrate in style. i went with my friend lauren, who wasn't a big queen fan, but i think i've converted her.

i had sixth form in the morning so i wore my queen top and painted my nails freddie style (a diy post on that coming up soon - not very difficult to do but needs a bit of explaining) for the occasion. my friends were lovely and we talked about queen for most of the school day. then i went home, listened to queen, lit a few candles (i wanted to light twenty, one for every year, but i think that might have become a serious fire hazard...), cried quite a lot and got ready to go to the show.

we had mcdonalds for tea and went up to the grand theatre. there was a huge crowd outside but we managed to get in easily, as the crowd was mostly a queue for the merchandise. our seats were surprisingly good; i thought they were going to be bad because i had wanted to go on that date so badly that i just booked any seats available. i was sat next to a lovely old couple who were obviously huge queen fans and were dancing and singing throughout the whole show.

sorry for the crazy looking photo, we were both trying not to laugh when i took it as the people sat in front of us were looking over their shoulder's at us with confused looks on their faces. :)

i don't want to ruin it for you, so i won't say much about the actual play. all i'll say is, it was amazing, completely worth the £70 and i would definitely, definitely jump at the chance to go again. i had heard that the story wasn't very good but i really loved it. i thought the story was quite clever, and they managed to slot in all the best known queen songs. it was so funny as well, we were doubled over in our seats laughing. i had warned lauren that i was probably going to cry at some point, and sure enough i did, during the performances of 'no one but you (only the good die young)' and 'these are the days of our lies'. i didn't expect lauren to cry though, but during 'we are the champions' and 'bohemian rhapsody' we were both stood, waving and singing, with tears running down our cheeks. also, the lovely old man sat next to me grabbed my hand during 'we are the champions' and we waved together, it was quite cute, like a bond between two distant generations.

the best bit for me was seeing rufus taylor during the curtain call. he's the son of roger taylor, drummer of queen, and is currently playing drums for the we will rock you uk tour. i'm a big fan of his and i was really excited to get to see him play. i was a bit nervous at first because i couldn't figure out where the band was. we got to see them during the second half but i couldn't see rufus anywhere, and i was a bit upset because i thought that i'd chosen the wrong day to see him and that he was probably with his dad or something. rufus was there though, hiding behind his drums, and he came on at the end to take a bow, whilst tapping his legs with his drumsticks to beat off nerves (so cute! i love him!).

after the show, the cast came on stage to get us to cheer for freddie, and to inform us that members of the cast will be holding collection buckets as we left and would love donations to support the mercury phoenix trust. i cleared out my purse and gave around £4 to the actor who was playing 'cliff richard', i think. i told him i loved his hair and he said he was going to take it off in a bit and i could have it if i loved it so much. i might hold him to that!

on the way out of the theatre, i realised it was nearly 11 o'clock and had to rush home as i had to catch a train at half nine the next morning to go to harrogate with my sixth form (maybe a post on that later?). i was hoping to hang around for a bit outside to meet rufus taylor but unfortunately i couldn't. :(

i also didn't have enough money with me on the night to buy a we will rock you t-shirt, but i'm going to town tomorrow to try and grab one while the merchandise stall is open during the saturday matinee performance. tomorrow will be the last day that we will rock you is in my hometown and i'll be sad to see it go.

i filmed a little bit of my day and this is all the footage i shot. it isn't much, i know. oh, and excuse my accent about halfway in, for some reason i put on a strange posh voice to say hi to my friends from tumblr (i had been meaning to get rufus to say hi to them but of course, i didn't get to meet him).

overall, it was a great (but sad) day, an amazing show and a perfect way to celebrate freddie's life. thank you for everything, darling, you really did rock us. rest in peace. xxx